Oh... you said fuck me?... Just in case you haven't noticed... I haven't said anything bad to you... in fact... I didn't say anything bad to anyone... you of all people should now that i don't take sides... And as a matter of fact I am trying to help you selfish little bitch out... Nikole... I am trying to get to know everyone and figure this out and maybe help solve this little fued... but obviously... you are too stupid to figure it out...

   I have been nothing but helpful to you... why am I still even talkng to you... I don't think that will help cause I know that your not reading and understanding... you ask for help and don't take it when it comes... I am your friend and you should understand that I wouldn't try to make you feel bad... if I did anyting wrong... PLEASE tell me...

   But don't stab me in the back cause you don't want to take advise... I don't have a reason to hate Crystal... I told you that already... and I won't hate her until I have a reason to... so don't you dare say nothing like that to me...

Ok now I'm REALLY pissed... why am I still getting grief from Tina  thing?.. Just because I'm not on her side?... Well look... your my best friend and all... but I ain't gonna go agains't people I do not have problems with... even if you don't like him... I told you to talk to him... but you didn't take my advise...

   Ben went a little too far with that entry... I know that... and he made the biggest mistake of his life... but I don't want to get involved... cause then I will get even more grief from you and Ben... I think he was wrong...But I don't want ot go into other peoples fights... I remember you saying after on that comment to Crystal... that people can write about shit in there xanga... and other people can kiss my ass if they don't like it... Well Nikole...

   In fact... I don't want to hear about this fight anymore... I don't want to fight over some stupid argument over something I have no part of... Ok?

   I am pissed today... Nikole is getting kinda annoying with her problems... she has a friend, Ben.. and he's cool and all... and Nikole like him -a lot-... and she thinks his friend Crytal is trying to cheat on him or something... she thinks Crystal is a whore... but i don't cause... well i don't know her... and those stories I hear I don't want to believe cause I can't trust just one persons opinion... I mean... if Ben likes her... she can't be bad...

   But I don't understand how this story got to me in the first place... I talked to Ben 2 times... and I don't even know Crystal... WHY AM I BEING ANNOYED WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS?...  

   And... I just made a new msn name... and it turns out to have belonged to someone else... AND I'M BEING ANNOYED BY THOSE FRIEKS WHO KNEW THAT GIRL... I am not totally mad at that... cause I met this cool guy Ken by this mistake... but WHY AM I BEING ANNOYED BY PEOPLE I DO NOT KNOW... I'm ok... I'm ok...

Currently Reading On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God: Further Confessions of Georgia Nicolson By Louise Rennison see related

   I havent updated in a century...cause I really didn't give a crap about it... But I feel that I have to write this so I can let it go...

   My childhood was a mess... my parents came to this pitiful country with 15 bucks in their pocket and obviously it wasn't going to be easy with a year old baby (me) with them... so I don't have many luxuries like some of my friends... even if they think I do... It ain't easy in this tiny hole of a home I live in... I hate it... I just got the first room I can actually call my own... I also have a 2 year old sister who I do have to look after...

   But lets go back a bit... I was born very long and naturally I grew up to be tall but when I was younger I was always the "Skyscraper" in the class and well as stupid and childish as it sounds, I WAS stupid and childish... So I started cutting really young... I can't remamber how old I was, though... I didn't know why I did it or how something that was supposed to be painful actually healed me...I did it though... and I was fine for a while cause I had my own medicine for those stupid things...Now that I think about it I started harming myself for no apperant reason... I always felt more mature then other people but I couldn't get myself to live through a few stupid comments... I guess I'm stupider then I thought... I was always alone though... I never had any REAL friends...

   Anyway, one day I got home and I was really upset at this fucking basterd dude who whouldn't leave me alone and I went straight to the bathroom... But my usually small cut was deep... I can't believe how dumb I was... I was bleeding like hell and I had to go to the hospital... I would have died from that cut... It wasnt on my wrist, but it was deep... that is my only permanent scar from what I used to do...

   I don't have much to be depressed about now... but I am... My mom is constantly making sure I'm not dong that again and I wasn't for a long time...

   I don't know how it happened again but I started again... I can't go deep but I do and I wish I wasn't... it scares me to know that people are watching me and I dont' like it... I don't see the point of living anymore... there is not a lot I haven't done... I just hate all the preasure...

   I know I'm not alone and there are people who feel like me ... but at times I feel like I'm the only one... Am I?